Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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