I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
