She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I want a musical about memes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
