New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
