We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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