He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Randomize
