It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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