she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize