This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
