How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
