terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize