I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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