ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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