i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
