Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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