And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
