I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
