Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
