I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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