im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
