That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
