we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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