When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
