haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
