I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
