Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
