i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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