There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
