It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
