went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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