sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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