I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
