someone threw a dead crab at me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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