FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
