Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
