Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
