I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
