i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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