I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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