Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
