That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
