i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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