I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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