im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
