She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it glows. i had to have it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
