I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize