is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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