I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
