I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
