No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
