I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize