I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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