i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
