Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
