I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize