I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
