he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize