everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
