It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
