You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
