Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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