I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
