Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
