areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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