OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
