i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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