Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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