But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I deserve this hangover.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
