I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
