hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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