Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
