I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
