There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
