Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize