Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize