The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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