She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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