Don't make out with my wife yet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
