Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got her a Nickelback box set.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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